Because They Are My Thoughts

I can't feel my thoughts.
And I
Can feel me fading away from them.
I feel disgusted yet,
I'm enjoying some of the most
happiest moments of my life.

I feel as though
Because I am so far,
I am drifting away from them.
Yet, I know they are here
With Me.
I miss them
Even though I forget to call them on their birthdays
And even though I choose to work on breaks
Instead of visiting them.
And even though I won't send a daily text message
Reassuring them
That I Love them.

I have horrible dreams about them
And sometimes, I wake up
Night from night crying,
Praying they're still okay,
But I don't call to check.

I just pray.
I pray to god that they're doing okay
And I pray to god that they're still alive.

I can remember their smiles
Miles and miles away from memory
And I'm dieing.
But I'm living.
And I need them
But I try not to think about it.

This may be hard to follow

Because,
I can't feel my thoughts.
And I
I can feel me fading away from them.

By Erica Bush