Because They Are My Thoughts

I can't feel my thoughts.
And I
Can feel me fading away from them.
I feel disgusted yet,
I'm enjoying some of the most
happiest moments of my life.

I feel as though
Because I am so far,
I am drifting away from them.
Yet, I know they are here
With Me.
I miss them
Even though I forget to call them on their birthdays
And even though I choose to work on breaks
Instead of visiting them.
And even though I won't send a daily text message
Reassuring them
That I Love them.

I have horrible dreams about them
And sometimes, I wake up
Night from night crying,
Praying they're still okay,
But I don't call to check.

I just pray.
I pray to god that they're doing okay
And I pray to god that they're still alive.

I can remember their smiles
Miles and miles away from memory
And I'm dieing.
But I'm living.
And I need them
But I try not to think about it.

This may be hard to follow

Because,
I can't feel my thoughts.
And I
I can feel me fading away from them.

By Erica Bush

Carina Del Rosa

I wonder,
why didn't Carina
live up to her dreams?
She was beautiful and smart.
Two things often hard to find in one person.
Caring and multi-talented,
Carina did well in every subject
If you didn't know her, it would be hard to tell
what it was she truly desired.

I knew though.

She wanted to become a Movie Star.
A Movie Star? I would always ask her.
Because the way I saw it was like this:
She could do anything in the world, so why such
an unpredictable choice?

But It doesn't matter now
Because Carina didn't make it.

For a long time,
I grew angry with her
Angry because she gave up,
and angry because she too, destroyed my
high hopes in her process.
Maybe I should not have been so reliant upon her success


But It doesn't matter now,
Because Carina didn't make it.

Years have passed
And sometimes I still see Carina.
Only through the windows of my bookstore, though.
We make eye contact
But do not speak.
She's not as nearly as beautiful as she used to be,

But I can still see the light
projecting from within her.

When I feel she is cold,
Still, without saying a word to her,
I give her a cup of hot chocolate
while handing her change from the bottom of my bag.

I don't even think she remembers me.

By Erica Bush

High Up Above

All I want to do is write
about what makes me feel good.
All I want to do is Jazz.
And I
Can't understand anything else.

I want to grove to the
lyrics of your poem,
while the beats
educate my mind.

Never bring me back down from Love for,
there is no feeling like this. So,

Allow me to be stuck with U forever.

Complete me in the highest way,
making me feel

higher..
and higher...
and higher....

Move me.

All I want to do is write
about what makes me feel good.
All I want to do is Jazz
And I
Can't understand anything else.

By Erica Bush

I'll Love U Forever

You are here when I don't want you to be
And you feel me when no one else does,
I'll love U forever.
You care for me when no one else will,
and you stay even though I make a complete fool of U
I'll love U forever.
You won't give up on me
even though I tell you to;
And when I tell you to leave,
you translate it, then get that I mean stay.
I'll love you forever.
You are what I feel when I feel excitement
You are what I feel when I feel joy
You are what I feel when I feel loved
I'll love U forever.

By Erica Bush

A Material Girl

All I want is
expensive clothes and designer heels because,
I am caught up with all the good things in Life,

ignoring the reality of it.

By Erica Bush

Why Can't He Get It?

That's what I want to know.
You crave one thing while I,
Crave another.
Romance me will You?
While that won't do any good
Because you feel one thing while I,
feel another.
But try..
Romance my ass like a smooth sonnet in a Love poem
for, it might work.
And Although it might not pick up my heart,
It will, my attention.

But forget all that,
tell me what you want so I can finally get what I want.
Your Oh So into what I have but,
Why can't you focus on one thing I want?
You make my Life so much more complex when
All I want is for You to.....
Alright, Let's do what you want to do.

While you are enjoying the ride of your Life,
I am not there.
You won't look into my eyes like I want you to
And You stare through me
.....Listen.

By Erica Bush

Not For You

I will not sit around and pretend to care for you
Because I don't.
You will not catch me acting like I do.
See your mistakes,
And realize all the times your wrong
Before you decide to judge me
Or just so happen to "catch me in the act".

It was just the other day
When we made sweet gum drops
with the hummingbirds.

And it was just today We changed.

I won't grow remorseful
because somehow,
I knew this would be
We are not the same
And now we both see.

Although I will miss our friendship
Somehow..
Shit,
I just won't pretend to sit around and care for you.

By Erica Bush

Black Women

African Queens are what comes to mind when I
think of Black Women.
Why? You ask.
Because that's the truth.
If "black" is socially constructed as we know It
then what were we before it?
That's right..
You got it.

Beautiful African Queens.
From Africa- Stolen.
Forced to America [absolutely] not by choice.

Beauty is in their roots
Dedication is in their spirit
And the ability to stay strong is constantly
repeated through their minds.
And their commitment is shown through their actions.

There is no woman like the African woman for,
She is truly one of a kind.
Behind her eyes
looking from the inside out
She sees this.

There is no woman like me for,
I am a Beautiful African Queen.

By Erica Bush

A Sexual Attraction

We are not connected
Thus,
I always fien for you.
I can not go a day without you..r lips, or your touch
However,
I could go a day without you speaking to me
If you aren't uttering moans, and groans
and how good I taste.

I love how we act like we don't know each other in public for,
It causes my pussy muscles to contract tighter, and tighter
Until I can't take it anymore,
And I decide,
I need you
Right then and there.
Sex with you defines candle lights and roses on a dark rainy day.
It's the best feeling I've ever known
Never a bad moment when you are in me.
My thoughts are blown and far too gone,
with you.
You are my climax to the amazing sex,
And I am your sexual attraction.

And that's all I will ever be.

By Erica Bush

A Dancer's Story

She was always forced to make many decisions,
No one ever took the chance to listen to her.
As a child,
She was misused, abused and improperly
led out of her childhood.
As she grew older she knew
She Loved to Dance.
Flowing her body allowed her to
free her mind and unwind the
50-year-old stress she held upon her 19-year-old shoulders.
& So She Danced.

She swayed to the melodies of ballet,
and grooved to the beats of jazz.
Dancing meant a lot to her because,
It was Her choice.
Her choice enabled her to let go and be free for what seemed like,
Forever.

By the age of 20,
they found her in her bathroom stripped naked
hanging from her bathtub rail
With a note that read:

This was my choice,
and my choice just enabled me to let go and be free for what would be,
Forever.
This was her choice, Forever.

By Erica Bush

A Note to You

Winter Waters
ponder over a bright night
looking for you.
If they can't find you, they are lost for eternity.
You are their noise
Ringing loudly in the night.
You are the full definition of "confusing but understanding"
You are the waters and the waters are you.
You are Alive while the waters are raging.
The waters are roaring while you are calm.
I scream out for the waters to take me to you
but they aren't listening.

You can hear me
But you aren't responding
I need you but
you are already gone.
You are Alive while the waters are just breathing,
You are already gone.

By Erica Bush

Drugs & Edu.

She's on drugs,
And she's the shit.
She graduated at the top of her class all the while,
popping pills and taking marijuana hits.
Damn, that girl is the shit.
How does she do it?
She said:
I like to have fun,
while still, never forgetting what's important.
I said:
Yea but, can't you easily lose focus?
She replied:
Not Me, remember,
Keep your mind set and I bet you won't lose focus,
Only pop pills once every three weeks
& then,
r e l a x. .
I said:
I couldn't do It!
She said:
Remember, I got to college just like you did,
the only difference is,
I'm on drugs.

Right now I'm comtemplating
while my arguments are furthermore sufficating.
Fuck It,
Their lost.
Right along with her
Although she isn't.
She seems to know where she's going and have everything else, figured out.
Damn, that girl is the shit,
How does she do it?

By Erica Bush

What's the Difference?

Can you Fuck and Love someone at the same time?
I can,
I have.
Someone xplain to me
the difference between love-making
and fucking
Because, I'm just not comprehending.

Do you call it love-making because it sounds more..
classy?
I am too,
classy.
But too often,
I like to refer to Sex as Fucking.
Can you Fuck and Love someone at the same time?
I know I can,
Mmm..
I know I have
It's the exact same thing your wife calls
love-making.
We love each other
& you feel my insides.
& When you love her,
you feel hers too
So,
What's the Difference?

By Erica Bush

My Uncle

When I was a Little girl,
he was known as the one who was always there.
And he was always there.
When no one else was,
he was.
He cooked, he cleaned, and performed most
parent duties as I know them
& I Loved Him.
As a teen,
I noticed a different side to my Uncle
They say the penitentiary will change a person but
Damn,
why did it have to change him?
I looked to him as being
my provider, my happiness and,
my Uncle
He went from being one of the best persons in this world
to becoming,
one of the worst.
A crack-addict, no more a lover
An alcoholic, no more a teacher
He forgot about his joy in family, books, education
and to my surprise,
Black empowerment
For he would always speak about, at every given chance he got.
Worst of all,
He forgot about me.
He would always tell me, I'm not like most members of our family.
& I
wish I could say the same about him,
Again.
I hope he's doing well,
in Hell.

By Erica Bush

Awesome People

I admire the girl
who was looked down upon during half of her existence in Life
I realize her struggle,
and I appreciate her commitment because she strives to continue to go through
this hardship well known as:
Life.

I know her story.

I noticed the "neighborhood thug" who's heart and soul was in basketball
I could feel his excitement when he played,
it sent chills through my body as if,
his excitement were in me.

I saw sadness upon his face when he didn't turn Pro and make it in the NBA
I felt his animosity, later turned compassion
to want to turn something out of nothing, fast
And although that fast decision may not have been the brightest,
It worked.
You see, I remember the girl with the sad story,
the one who made it
Yeah,
The one who continues to smile fake because
she's still hurting from the inside out

(from the inside out)

and I remember the "neighborhood thug" who could shoot hoops like no other
until he was murdered.
I will never become oblivious
to these two people for,
I will always reminisce about these awesome people,
Always

By Erica Bush