I Feel Like Dying

I've been drifting In and Out of Life
for quite some time now.
I live to Die
I die to Live.
The very moment I come back to life,
I have trouble recalling what happened
within in short period of time.
I die to have fun
And to feel revived from all harsh rays that strike upon me.
I Die because I can.
Death is not reality
And that's the beauty of It.
It allows you to Escape

escape...

escape..

written by: Erica Bush

I am Not Justifed by My Actions However, You Still Judge Me by Them.

I make Life's biggest mistakes.
And sometimes, instead of learning from them the first time, I do it again.
It's not until the second time I realize that
I need to get my shit together ..immediately. That is Until another day passes by..
And I find myself in the same postion I was in before I "cleared my mind".

This is what I call Life.
I am forever reliving each day.

I live it..I make the best of it..and I fuck up in it.
But Since all the "rules" to follow by in life are either vague, contradictory, or based off a philosphy I can't comprehend..who are You? to say that I'm not living life on the [right path]? Although
I've been lost..............

I feel as though I am where I belong.

Where is the right path?
Are you on it?
Shall I just follow you?
I say Fuck No.
I'd rather be
Continuing my very own journey in life until [ I*] discover the path with a rainbow over it..and hummingbirds flying everywhere..
I don't know if that will be the "right" path but I know..
It'll be beautiful.
And I would smile
I'd be smiling at Life.

Because They Are My Thoughts

I can't feel my thoughts.
And I
Can feel me fading away from them.
I feel disgusted yet,
I'm enjoying some of the most
happiest moments of my life.

I feel as though
Because I am so far,
I am drifting away from them.
Yet, I know they are here
With Me.
I miss them
Even though I forget to call them on their birthdays
And even though I choose to work on breaks
Instead of visiting them.
And even though I won't send a daily text message
Reassuring them
That I Love them.

I have horrible dreams about them
And sometimes, I wake up
Night from night crying,
Praying they're still okay,
But I don't call to check.

I just pray.
I pray to god that they're doing okay
And I pray to god that they're still alive.

I can remember their smiles
Miles and miles away from memory
And I'm dieing.
But I'm living.
And I need them
But I try not to think about it.

This may be hard to follow

Because,
I can't feel my thoughts.
And I
I can feel me fading away from them.

By Erica Bush

Carina Del Rosa

I wonder,
why didn't Carina
live up to her dreams?
She was beautiful and smart.
Two things often hard to find in one person.
Caring and multi-talented,
Carina did well in every subject
If you didn't know her, it would be hard to tell
what it was she truly desired.

I knew though.

She wanted to become a Movie Star.
A Movie Star? I would always ask her.
Because the way I saw it was like this:
She could do anything in the world, so why such
an unpredictable choice?

But It doesn't matter now
Because Carina didn't make it.

For a long time,
I grew angry with her
Angry because she gave up,
and angry because she too, destroyed my
high hopes in her process.
Maybe I should not have been so reliant upon her success


But It doesn't matter now,
Because Carina didn't make it.

Years have passed
And sometimes I still see Carina.
Only through the windows of my bookstore, though.
We make eye contact
But do not speak.
She's not as nearly as beautiful as she used to be,

But I can still see the light
projecting from within her.

When I feel she is cold,
Still, without saying a word to her,
I give her a cup of hot chocolate
while handing her change from the bottom of my bag.

I don't even think she remembers me.

By Erica Bush

High Up Above

All I want to do is write
about what makes me feel good.
All I want to do is Jazz.
And I
Can't understand anything else.

I want to grove to the
lyrics of your poem,
while the beats
educate my mind.

Never bring me back down from Love for,
there is no feeling like this. So,

Allow me to be stuck with U forever.

Complete me in the highest way,
making me feel

higher..
and higher...
and higher....

Move me.

All I want to do is write
about what makes me feel good.
All I want to do is Jazz
And I
Can't understand anything else.

By Erica Bush

I'll Love U Forever

You are here when I don't want you to be
And you feel me when no one else does,
I'll love U forever.
You care for me when no one else will,
and you stay even though I make a complete fool of U
I'll love U forever.
You won't give up on me
even though I tell you to;
And when I tell you to leave,
you translate it, then get that I mean stay.
I'll love you forever.
You are what I feel when I feel excitement
You are what I feel when I feel joy
You are what I feel when I feel loved
I'll love U forever.

By Erica Bush

A Material Girl

All I want is
expensive clothes and designer heels because,
I am caught up with all the good things in Life,

ignoring the reality of it.

By Erica Bush